


Perfect Imperfections

by AAvery



Category: VIXX
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Loosely inspired by Beautiful Liar Music Video, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 02:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10504860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AAvery/pseuds/AAvery
Summary: He stood in front of him, but Taekwoon refused to look up at him. Taekwoon was pathetic. He was probably disgusted. Who could ever deal with a pitiful loser such as himself? Taekwoon half expected him to walk away but instead, he did something Taekwoon did not expect. He pulled him close and hugged him tight.“I’m sorry,” he told him. He didn’t sugar coat anything, didn’t tell him he'd be okay or that everything would be fine. For that, Taekwoon was grateful.Wonsik was the only person he'd ever met to know exactly what he needed, what he was thinking, without fail.UPDATE: changed the story from first person to third person because ma god why did I ever write in first person in the first place? The story is the same, the POV just switched. Thanks!





	

It was cold.

Really cold.

The light sweater Taekwoon wore did nothing to stop the biting wind that whipped his hair into his closed eyes.

But he didn’t care. He didn’t even bother fixing it or doing anything to block out the harsh winds.

Standing up here made him feel better, however slight.

The ledge was small and high up. If he were to open his eyes, he would see gray apartment buildings and a secluded alley beneath him.

But he wasn’t going to open his eyes; he’d lose his nerve that way.

Every gust of wind put him off-balance, sending him teetering precariously on the balls of his feet. A small part of him wished there’d be a blast he couldn’t save himself from and he’d fall to his death.

But he had never been that lucky.

He couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. How stupid that he had ever thought they could be happy together forever. He should’ve moved on ages ago. She obviously had but somehow it had never fully sunk in until now when it was far too late to remedy the situation.

And now… Taekwoon felt lost.

He had never imagined his life without her.

How stupid.

What was he going to do? What could he even do? She was getting married and here he was a pitiful mess, standing on a rooftop ledge, hoping to fall off because he was too afraid to do it himself.

How sad.

Stupid.

Pathetic.

Looking back, he never really had stood a chance anyway; with any of the girls he had ever fallen for over the years. They all left for the same reason. It had to be his fault; no matter what they told him.

Too shy.

Too quiet.

Uncaring.

Blunt.

Hard to read.

Unemotional.

But that was just him! How was he supposed to change his very nature to appease them? Could no one learn to love him for the way he was? Was he really so appalling to be with romantically?

All their lies: “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“You’re a great guy but I think we should see other people.”

“You deserve the world but I can’t give it to you.”

None of it true. He knew what they were really saying: “It’s not me, it’s you.”

“You don’t show that you care enough.”

“I deserve better than you.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

The wind picked up, the strongest it had been since he got up here. It pushed him forward, towards the edge of the building. Instantly, his body saved itself; his eyes flew open in his surprise as he threw his weight back, ending up leaning dangerously over the edge.

The sudden movement sent a few droplets of water flying away from him. When had he started crying? It wasn’t at all surprising due to all the crying he had been doing lately but he hadn’t even noticed it this time. He felt numb to everything. The constant sadness had become the norm; he couldn’t remember what it felt like to be happy. He couldn’t even feel the cold anymore. Nothing mattered.

He closed his eyes again and wiped them dry as he righted himself on the ledge once again. He had stood on the edge long enough though; it was time to make a choice and he knew with certainty what it would be.

Slowly, he outstretched his arms out to the side and took a deep breath. It was time to go. He had had enough of this world.

“Taekwoon,” a voice quietly said over the wind. The speaker didn’t even phrase it as a question. They called his name as if they knew exactly what was going on. Taekwoon had to hold back a sob; he had been so close. A few more seconds and he would’ve been relieved at last.

Taekwoon didn’t say anything in response, didn’t move or look at the intruder either. He knew who it was, but he really didn’t give a damn anymore.

“Let’s go inside. It’s cold, you’ll get sick,” he said. His deep voice was louder now, he must’ve walked closer to him.

Again, Taekwoon didn’t say anything. He heard shuffling behind him and felt the intruder step onto the ledge behind him. Taekwoon felt his warmth, a stark contrast to the cold air whipping around him, as warm, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders.

“If you jump, you’re taking me with you,” he whispered next to Taekwoon’s ear.

That’s when Taekwoon broke down and let out a quiet sob. Of course he knew exactly what he was doing and of course he’d know exactly how to stop him.

They stood there for a while as Taekwoon sobbed and latched onto the strong arms around him in a tight grip.

He didn’t say anything. Just stood there, holding Taekwoon, waiting for him to decide.

“Let’s go inside,” he said after the long silence. Taekwoon nodded and he unwrapped his arms before gently pulling him off the ledge with him. Tears were still falling down Taekwoon’s cheeks but he wasn’t sobbing anymore at least.

He stood in front of him, but Taekwoon refused to look up at him. Taekwoon was pathetic. He was probably disgusted. Who could ever deal with a pitiful loser such as himself? Taekwoon half expected him to walk away but instead, he did something he did not expect. He pulled Taekwoon close and hugged him tight.

“I’m sorry,” he told Taekwoon. He didn’t sugar coat anything, didn’t tell him he’d be okay or that everything would be fine. For that, Taekwoon was grateful.

Wonsik was the only person he’d ever met to know exactly what he needed, what he was thinking at any given moment, without fail.

They walked back inside the building to Taekwoon’s apartment afterward. He still hadn’t said anything about what he caught Taekwoon about to do. He just left him to sit curled up on the couch while he made food. Taekwoon heard clanging in the kitchen and got the occasional whiff of food wafting into the sitting room. Taekwoon couldn’t say that he was happy to still be here, but he was at least happy Wonsik was here with him.

His eyes started drooping as he heard Wonsik walk back into the room. He walked past Taekwoon as his eyes finally slid shut. A few seconds later, he felt him gently lay an incredibly warm blanket over his body. That must’ve been what he had put in the dryer when they got here. Why was he so good at this? So good at comforting Taekwoon in ways he himself didn’t even know he needed to be comforted.

Taekwoon felt him brush a few strands of hair away from his forehead. His fingers were warm, and he was oh so gentle. The last thing Taekwoon remembered before falling asleep completely was a light kiss being pressed to his forehead; but by then, he was far too gone to question what such a gesture could mean.

~*~

When Taekwoon awoke, it was quiet. Was he alone again? Had Wonsik left? It was dark so seeing the small clock on the wall was difficult, but he just barely made out ten o’clock. He’d been asleep for four hours; no wonder Wonsik had left.

He sat up from his spot on the couch and stretched. Falling asleep there really hadn’t been a good idea. Looking around his quiet living room, Taekwoon nearly jumped clear off the couch in fear. Feeling panicked, he fumbled to turn on the lamp at the base of the couch in hopes of fending off whatever was sitting very still in the chair right next to where he had been sleeping.

Once illuminated, he felt silly for freaking out. Wonsik hadn’t left, he had just fallen asleep. Thankfully, he hadn’t awoken when Taekwoon turned the light on. Though, that wasn’t surprising; Wonsik could sleep anywhere, anytime and through anything.  

Taekwoon stood up from the couch, taking the blanket Wonsik had given him with. He didn’t want to wake him up; not when he looked so peaceful.

He remembered Wonsik had gone through a pretty bad break up recently too… Taekwoon wondered briefly if that was how he knew where he was when he showed up here to Taekwoon’s apartment but there was no Taekwoon to be found. Was he having a hard time? Had he had the same thought process as Taekwoon? He doubted it; Wonsik always seemed so happy. So confident. He couldn’t see him getting as broken up over a girl as he was.

Wonsik’s black hair did look a mess, though, like he hadn’t taken a shower in a while. There were dark circles under his closed eyes and his clothes looked abnormally baggy. Maybe he was…

Taekwoon went to place the blanket over his sleeping form but just about the second he did, Wonsik’s eyes fluttered open.

Embarrassed, Taekwoon quickly whipped around, taking the blanket with and walking away. He heard him laugh and Taekwoon stopped before leaving the room completely.

“You’re awake,” he said; he sounded happy. Taekwoon would guess he was smiling. “Thanks.”

Did he know what Taekwoon was trying to do? Why else would he thank him? But he had run when he woke up. Why did he have to be such a coward? Why did he have to be so shy? Why did anyone ever want to be around him?

Taekwoon turned around to face Wonsik again, clutching the blanket close to his chest.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Wonsik laughed again, standing up. He walked over to Taekwoon and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I appreciate the gesture.”

He smiled sincerely and Taekwoon looked anywhere but him. He nodded in response, offering nothing else but still, Wonsik understood and patted his head affectionately.

“Are you hungry? I heated up some leftovers you had in your fridge but then you fell asleep and I kinda did too,” he said before walking into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry,” Taekwoon mumbled quietly. That was the first thing he had said all night. And he meant it to apply to everything that had happened so far and not just about falling asleep.  

“Nah, it’s cool. I’m glad you’re sleeping,” Wonsik easily brushed it off, gesturing for Taekwoon to follow him in to the kitchen. He did so quietly, still clutching the blanket to his chest.

“I sleep,” he replied, sitting down at the counter, draping the blanket over his back, and watching as Wonsik pulled out the various tubs of food from the fridge.

“I’m sure,” Wonsik said, running a finger under Taekwoon’s eyes where he knew were dark circles. When he turned back around, Taekwoon laid his head on the table. Why did Wonsik always have to do so many things that embarrassed him?

“You should sleep more, too.” His voice was muffled by his arms but Taekwoon knew Wonsik had heard him because the clanging of plates stopped.

“I’d sleep better knowing you were.”

“I’m older than you, I know how to take care of myself.”

“I know.”

Taekwoon looked up as Wonsik turned to face him. He looked painfully worried about him for reasons Taekwoon couldn’t understand before continuing.

“But everyone needs someone to lean on every now and then.” He gave a small smile and Taekwoon quickly laid his head on the counter once more to hide his embarrassment.

Wonsik laughed quietly at the action and ruffled Taekwoon’s hair in response. They sat in silence for a moment, Wonsik preparing to warm up their dinner until Taekwoon remembered there was still something he still had to do.

“Wonsik?” Taekwoon lifted his head to look at him. He was standing at the stove, carefully mixing the food so it would heat evenly.

“Hm?” He gave Taekwoon a sideways glance to show he was listening.

“Thank you,” Taekwoon whispered. He didn’t know if Wonsik heard him because he didn’t say anything for a few seconds. But then he turned to Taekwoon, a smile that said it all on his face as replied:

“Of course, hyung. Anything.”

~*~

There was a knock on the door for around the fifth time. It was getting louder and even harder to ignore the longer it was ignored. Taekwoon thought he even heard yelling from the other side but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His neighbors would surely complain but he couldn’t be bothered at the moment.

He knew who it was, but he had no intention of answering the door. Ever since a few nights ago, when Wonsik caught him about to jump, he started showing up at his apartment a lot more. Taekwoon didn’t need a babysitter. He could take care of himself.

“Taekwoon! If you don’t open the door, I’m breaking it down!”

Taekwoon groaned, knowing full well that Wonsik would do exactly that if he didn’t let him in. He rolled off the couch and slowly made his way over to the door.

“What do you want?” He snapped through it. He sounded a lot angrier than he actually felt. He hoped Wonsik didn’t get the wrong idea.

“I have food, I just wanna hang out.”

“Why?”

“Can’t I hang out with my best friend?”

“Fine.”

He did have food after all… And Taekwoon hated to admit it, but he _was_ hungry. When was the last time he actually ate something? He couldn’t remember, which probably wasn’t a good sign.  

Taekwoon opened the door reluctantly and didn’t even bother showing Wonsik in. He just walked back over to and collapsed onto his couch.

“You don’t look so good,” Wonsik said, standing over him with an unbearably worried expression on his face. Taekwoon covered his eyes with an arm to avoid such a look.

“Gee thanks.”

“I’m just worried about you.”

“Worry about yourself.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated,” Wonsik avoided the question. “Anyway, I brought you food.”

“Foooood.”

“I knew that would work.” Wonsik laughed as Taekwoon immediately bolted upright and took the take-out tub of whatever Wonsik had bought. Not like it mattered much. Food just didn’t have the same taste as it used to no matter what Taekwoon ate.  

They didn’t say much as they ate. Just watched whatever channel had shown up when they turned the TV on in silence. Taekwoon couldn’t remember the last time he actually turned on his television… Or did anything besides go to work or stare at the walls.

“Why do you keep coming here?” He asked after at least thirty consecutive minutes of zero talking. It was really bothering Taekwoon and that was saying something considering Taekwoon was all for not talking if he could get away with it.

“It’s not… it’s not because of what you were doing a couple nights ago… if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Taekwoon rose an eyebrow at the statement. He found that hard to believe. Any sensible person would worry that he would try to kill himself again if left alone for too long… And they really wouldn’t be wrong either with the state Taekwoon was in.

“Okay so maybe I’m a little worried but… mainly it’s for… selfish reasons.”

“What?”

Wonsik took a deep breath; he looked really troubled. Taekwoon didn’t think he had ever seen such a look on Wonsik’s face before. He really didn’t like it.

“Well ever since… ever since my last break up… it made me realize something about myself… something that’s left me painfully confused and agonizingly lonely.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t wanna say it out loud yet… I don’t even really know if that’s actually what it is yet or not. But being around you makes me feel better… You won’t judge me. You listen no matter what the problem is or how stupid it is. It’s comforting.”

What any of that meant, Taekwoon had no idea. And apparently, the look he gave Wonsik told him everything because he started laughing.

“Sorry, that’s a lot of embarrassing things. But you just understand me, yeah?”

Taekwoon nodded. Even in his own broken mess, he’d support Wonsik as best he could. Wonsik’s confession made Taekwoon feel bad for ignoring him the past few days.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“What for?”

“For ignoring you.”

“It’s okay… I understand.”

“I won’t do it anymore.”

“I’m glad.”

~*~

It wasn’t so cold this time.

And Taekwoon wasn’t standing but sitting on the small ledge. The wind gently pushed his hair around his face as he watched a few clouds meander by high in the sky.

He didn’t have any intention of jumping, either.

He couldn’t do that to Wonsik.

The younger man been hanging around Taekwoon’s apartment almost every day for the last three weeks. It was nice having someone constant in his life. A lifeline that pulled him from the depths of his own mind. Though he wasn’t better, Wonsik made life bearable again.

Taekwoon never did tell Wonsik what had driven him to attempt suicide and he hadn’t needed to. Somehow, Wonsik just knew. Wonsik had always been able to tell what he was thinking. Always knew what he needed… being around him made him feel better. He couldn’t really explain it but every quality he had that everyone complained about, Wonsik wasn’t bothered by it. It was comforting. It made him feel as if he wasn’t a total disaster. As if he was someone desirable. Someone that could be loved by another.

“You really like this spot,” his voice said from behind Taekwoon.

“It’s quiet,” he responded and Wonsik hummed in agreement, sitting next to him on the ledge, dangling his legs next to Taekwoon’s over the side.

“I went to your apartment and saw you weren’t there, so I came here,” he explained. Taekwoon hadn’t even needed to ask the question. He nodded in understanding and the conversation died out. The silence wasn’t awkward, it was nice to enjoy the peace with Wonsik by his side.

“You look happier,” Wonsik said, quietly. How could he tell? “It just looks like you’re getting more sleep. Your eyes don’t look so… lifeless.”

Taekwoon looked at him to find him already staring back. Embarrassed, Taekwoon quickly looked away back out towards the endless span of buildings. Wonsik gave a quiet chuckle at his antics.

“You look better, too,” Taekwoon mumbled.

“You could tell from that quick glance?”

“Shut up.”

Wonsik laughed freely this time and Taekwoon was surprised to find himself smiling along with him.

“Anyway, do you wanna go grab lunch? That’s why I came around.”

Taekwoon nodded and Wonsik stood up, offering a hand. Taekwoon took it and they jumped off the ledge back onto the roof together.

There was something Taekwoon had to ask before they left, though. Something that would be hard to ask. But if he didn’t do it now, he was afraid he never would.  

“Wonsik,” he said, pulling him back when he began to walk towards the door that would lead back inside. “Would you…”

Taekwoon trailed off, feeling inexplicably nervous when he knew he shouldn’t have. Wonsik would do whatever he asked to help him; just as Taekwoon would do for him.

“Would I?” He asked, turning to face Taekwoon. A small smile played on his lips as he waited, giving Taekwoon the last bit of reassurance he needed. This was Wonsik after all. Familiar. Warm. Caring.  

“Could you… could you go to the wedding with me?”

Taekwoon couldn’t just not go; he felt that would be rather petty since she had personally asked him to come. But there was no way he’d be able to go alone. He was given a plus one on his invitation; something that had seemed like a personal slight at first but now was his saving grace. If Wonsik came with him, he’d get through it relatively unscathed.  

He looked at Taekwoon with a surprised look on his face for a moment. Just as Taekwoon was about to take it back, Wonsik broke into another easy smile.

“Of course. I’d be glad to.”

Taekwoon returned his smile as best he could, relieved that he’d have his lifeline during what would have been the time he finally drowned completely in his misery. But if he were with Wonsik, he’d be saved at the slightest hint of distress.

~*~

“Yo! I brought food!”

Wonsik burst through the door of the book shop Taekwoon worked at, loudly announcing his arrival. Taekwoon almost didn’t hear him over the loud music he was listening to through his earbuds as he sat reading a book at the front counter… almost. That’s how he knew Wonsik was being way too loud.

“This is a library, you know,” Taekwoon said, taking his earbuds out and pausing his music as Wonsik waltzed up to the counter. Taekwoon gave apologetic looks to all the annoyed patrons who were trying to read within the store.  

“Oh right,” Wonsik said, taking his volume down five notches; even then he was still a little loud for the small shop. How Taekwoon got along with someone so completely opposite himself was a miracle sometimes. “Sorry.”

“Why are you here?”

“It’s lunch time.”

“Right, but why are you _here_?”

This was the first time Wonsik had come to Taekwoon’s place of work. To be honest, Taekwoon hadn’t even thought Wonsik knew where he worked. He couldn’t remember telling him since he had worked here for so long but the fact that Wonsik remembered made him feel a little happy.   

“I thought you could use some company…”

Taekwoon gave him a skeptical look. Whenever Wonsik came over to hang out there were always two reasons. First, the obvious ‘I enjoy your company and like spending time with you’ reasons and then the more selfish reasons that only ever really made since to Wonsik. Taekwoon still couldn’t understand why the younger man loved hanging around him so much.

“Alright fine, I was bored and lonely and wanted to see you.”

Taekwoon rolled his eyes. Wonsik was such an enigma to him sometimes.

“I guess I could take my break now,” Taekwoon sighed, setting a sign on the front counter that told patrons he was out on a lunch break.

“Yes!” Wonsik whispered as loudly as he could, drawing out the ‘s’ and earning himself more annoyed looks from customers.

“Let’s go before you get burned at the stake,” Taekwoon laughed before walking towards the back room of the library where only employees were supposed to go. Taekwoon was the only one working though, so he figured no one would care if no one even knew about it. They weren’t going to stay in the room anyway. He led Wonsik past the break room and outside behind the building. It was where Taekwoon usually ate lunch every day. It was quiet back there and he could still hear if anyone tried to walk out without paying for their books.

“Why back here?” Wonsik asked as Taekwoon sat down on the steps. Wonsik handed him the bag of food he had bought for him before sitting down right next to him as well.

“It’s quiet and it’s nice outside.”

It was really warm, and Taekwoon had been stuck inside all day. He was desperately craving fresh air.

“Right, it is uncharacteristically warm.”

“Just eat your food.”

“Yessir.”

They ate in quiet like they did every day. Taekwoon finished first like usual since he always devoured his food quickly. It was a bad habit he probably should break but Wonsik never seemed to mind. He would, however, berate Taekwoon endlessly for his absolutely abysmal eating habits such as not eating for a few days and then eating a lot to start the cycle over again. Taekwoon suspected that’s why Wonsik always brought food whenever they hung around each other: to make sure Taekwoon ate at least one meal every day.

“Don’t you work during the day, too?” Taekwoon asked.

“Yeah,” Wonsik said around a bite of his sandwich. “But I come to visit you on my lunch breaks.”

“Oh.”

“I get an hour and a half,” He explained further.

“Show off.”

“It’s not my fault I have a better job than you.”

Taekwoon didn’t even bother answering, just rolled his eyes. Wonsik laughed.

“Your job is nice, though. It suits you.”

“What does that mean?” He asked.

“I mean that it’s a quiet job for a quiet person. It’s fitting. I’d go crazy in there.”

“Yeah, since you’re always talking.”

“Only with you.”

“Whatever you say.”

Taekwoon pretended like his comments didn’t mean anything. Wonsik’s compliments and off-hand statements always made him feel… inexplicably happy and embarrassed all at the same time. Though, he increasingly found himself less and less bothered by his embarrassment whenever it came to Wonsik. It was nice.  

“Anyway, can I come over for dinner?” Wonsik asked.

“If I say no, will that stop you?”

“…No…”

“Then yes, you can come over.”

“Yes! Are you cooking?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Of course, I could just pick something up.”

“Do you live off of take-out?”

“Kinda.”

Taekwoon stared at him. He knew Wonsik was pretty clueless when it came to making food. The man had sat and stared at an egg for thirty minutes the other day trying to figure out what to do with it before screaming for Taekwoon to come help him. But Taekwoon hadn’t even considered the implications that came with. Eating take-out constantly couldn’t be healthy for a person. If Taekwoon was going to get harassed for his eating habits, then so could Wonsik.

“I’m making you food from now on.”

What kind of friend would he be, letting his closest friend die from ordering out all the damn time? It was only fair after all Wonsik had done for him.

“Wait really?”

“Yes really.”

“Woah! You are the literal best!” He shouted happily. “You make the best food!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

~*~

“Taekwoon… Taekwoon!” Hakyeon called out to Taekwoon, drawing him out of his thoughts. He looked over at Hakyeon in response. “You’re spacing out, again.”

Taekwoon shrugged in response and Hakyeon rolled his eyes.

“Anyway, we asked you how the wedding went,” Jaehwan spoke up from his spot leaning against Sanghyuk.

There were six of them, sitting around a circular booth at some restaurant Taekwoon hadn’t cared enough to pay attention to. He remembered that it was Hakyeon who had practically begged to have a meet up again. Taekwoon wouldn’t have bothered if Wonsik hadn’t trick him into coming. He told him they would just go out to dinner by themselves but then he brought the two of them here. Dirty liar. Even if he was just trying to help.

But Wonsik’s trickery got him stuck surrounded by curious eyes, waiting for an answer. Taekwoon looked to Wonsik sitting next to him, silently pleading for him to answer in his place. Wonsik gave him a dramatic eye roll but smiled and began to explain anyway.

“It went pretty well. It was a really nice service,” he answered, and Taekwoon nodded in agreement. It had gone pretty well. With Wonsik by his side the entire time, he didn’t once feel like he was somewhere he didn’t belong.

“You went with him?” Hongbin asked, giving a confused look. Wonsik nodded in answer.

“I asked him to,” Taekwoon spoke up.

“What?! You didn’t ask me! I’m wounded, Taekwoonie! Why Wonsik?” Hakyeon whined dramatically.

“Just because,” he said and Wonsik laughed.

“Fine. I’m fine.” Hakyeon composed himself, “Totally not DYING on the inside or anything.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

Everyone laughed at the exchange.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Sanghyuk said, Jaehwan nodded next to him. They’d been happily dating for at least a year now. Some people just had all the luck. Taekwoon was glad they were happy, though, even if he was a little envious of their happiness.

Taekwoon nodded in thanks even though he still wasn’t as okay as they all thought. He felt Wonsik squeeze his knee in comfort under the table. Of course, he knew what he was thinking. Of course, he knew exactly what to do to comfort him in this moment.

Taekwoon looked over to him as he gave him a small smile. Taekwoon was able to hold his gaze for only a few seconds before he quickly focused his attention back on his food.

Taekwoon saw Hongbin raise an eyebrow at their exchange but thankfully he didn’t say anything. Taekwoon wondered what he could be thinking. Was there something strange about the way Taekwoon and Wonsik were interacting with each other?

They all continued on like that for a few hours before moving to Hakyeon’s apartment a little ways from the restaurant when they finished their meal. Even though Taekwoon really hated that Wonsik tricked him in to coming, he had to admit it was really nice to be with his friends again. It was nice to be sitting next to Wonsik on Hakyeon’s couch and laughing with everyone. Nice to lay his head on Wonsik’s shoulder as he told a story he found hysterical but really wasn’t all that funny to anyone else. Taekwoon smiled at it anyway, that always made Wonsik happy.

“So… Can I ask?” Jaehwan said after a lull in the conversation as he pointed to the position Wonsik and Taekwoon were in. The answer to the unasked question was ‘no’ so Taekwoon shouldn’t have felt as embarrassed as he was, but he couldn’t help it. He buried his face in Wonsik’s shoulder but Wonsik only laughed at his antics. Everyone else was probably so confused.

“No, we’re not,” Wonsik answered, wrapping an arm around his waist. “What made you think that?”

It was quiet for a moment.

“You’re really confusing me here.” Hakyeon broke the silence.

“Sorry, I was just making a joke at Taekwoon’s expense,” Wonsik answered. Taekwoon hit him.

“So… you are dating?” Hongbin asked, clearly still very confused. Taekwoon rapidly shook his head against Wonsik’s shoulder.

“No, we’re not dating.” He said it seriously this time and a choir of ‘oh’s sounded from everyone.

Eventually, Taekwoon felt safe enough to stop hiding his face and situated himself back on Wonsik’s shoulder so he could see what was going on. The conversation drifted all over the place, but Taekwoon was only half paying attention. He was just enjoying this moment. The sounds of his friends arguing loudly over something trivial, the warm feeling of Wonsik’s body next to his. He let himself feel relaxed for the first time in forever. Completely at peace. He was starting to fall asleep with how comfortable he felt. Wonsik still had his arm around his waist from the joke that went over everyone’s head. Taekwoon was beginning to think that it was just an excuse to hold him closer. But Taekwoon didn’t mind, it felt kind of nice. Wonsik was so warm and Taekwoon really was feeling tired… so he let it slide.  

He must’ve fallen asleep at some point because the next thing he knew, he was waking up to the sound of Wonsik’s voice in his ear.

“Hey, Taekwoon… Wanna go home?” Wonsik gently prodded him with his free hand; whispering the words quietly so no one else heard. As if they would anyway, they were arguing pretty loudly over something as always.

Taekwoon nodded in agreement and Wonsik smiled before untangling himself from the other. Taekwoon was still super sleepy so as Wonsik stood up Taekwoon just kinda fell onto the couch. He laughed before crouching down in front of him and motioning for him to get on his back.

“What am I, five?” Taekwoon murmured but still started to move to climb on.

“Would you rather walk?”

“…No…”

Wonsik stood up, easily lifting Taekwoon with him.

“Why are you so strong?” Taekwoon complained.

“I’m sorry, your highness. But how else would I carry you around?”

“I feel like you just called me fat…”

“You are far from fat, you’re just really tall.”

“Whatever you say,” he mumbled after yawning. Taekwoon wrapped his arms loosely around his neck and rested his chin on his shoulder. Taekwoon already felt himself falling back asleep.

“We’re going to head out,” Wonsik announced over the argument over what Taekwoon made out to be Mario Cart. Sounded about right. “Taekwoonie’s tired.”

“Am not,” he mumbled.

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Wonsik laughed.

“Alright, we’ll see you later!” Hakyeon distractedly responded. Everyone else shouted a farewell too as Wonsik walked out of the apartment.

They didn’t say anything for a while. The walk was quiet. Taekwoon didn’t know how late it was but judging by how dark it was, it had to be getting pretty late.

“Can I tell you something?” Wonsik said out of nowhere as they were about halfway back to Taekwoon’s apartment. When Taekwoon didn’t say anything, Wonsik took that as approval to elaborate. Either that or he thought Taekwoon was asleep.

“I love you.”

That woke him right up. What… what did he mean by that?

“And I don’t mean platonically.”

Well.

“I just thought I should let you know, if you didn’t already,” he continued explaining. “I never explained why my last relationship ended because I wanted to make absolute certain. Well, now I’m positive. It ended because she thought I was in love with someone else… with you.”

He laughed bitterly.

“I’m sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I just couldn’t hide it from you anymore.”

Taekwoon didn’t know what to say. How… Why… It didn’t make any sense, so he just didn’t say anything. Why would someone as great as Wonsik fall for a loser like Taekwoon? That kind of thing just didn’t happen. Right?

He gripped onto his shoulders a little tighter and whispered:

“It’s okay.”

Taekwoon felt him nod and that was the last thing they said to each other that night.

~*~

Taekwoon thought about going back home as he stared at the familiar wood door. Wonsik would probably come over to his place later anyway. But he really wanted to see him now… so he was stuck. Too scared to knock on his apartment door but too stubborn to go home.

It had been a few days since Wonsik had confessed to him. Taekwoon thought at first their friendship would turn awkward but Wonsik didn’t act any differently so neither did he. Or at least, Taekwoon tried. He found himself becoming much more easily embarrassed around Wonsik. Which was saying something because he was almost perpetually embarrassed around other people.

And he still couldn’t knock on the God damn door!

With a burst of courage, he tapped on the door barely loud enough. When Taekwoon heard a few loud bangs that sounded kind of like Wonsik tumbling off his couch, Taekwoon knew he had heard him.

The door swung open a few moments later, only there was no one standing there.

What?

“Taekwoon?” Taekwoon heard his voice and looked down at the ground. Wonsik was laying on the ground, looking up at him still in what looked like his pajamas.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He whined and laid his head face down.

“Like what?” Taekwoon felt a small smile creep onto his face.

“Stop judging me. I’m lazy, okay? I fell off the couch and crawled over here just to answer the door for you.”

“Poor Wonsikkie…” Taekwoon cooed as he stepped over him into his apartment.

“Rude.”

“It’s ruder to keep a guest waiting.”

Taekwoon heard him groan as the door slammed shut.

“The first time you come to me voluntarily in like months and you’re a jerk about it.” He moaned as he stood up and followed Taekwoon into his living room. Taekwoon shrugged and sat down on the couch. Wonsik followed suit.

“So, what brings you here?” Wonsik asked as he began surfing through a couple channels on his TV.

“Wanted to hang out with you,” Taekwoon answered, looking over at Wonsik. He still hadn’t figured him out. Why in the world did he love him? He had to be confused or something. There was no other explanation.

“Oh cool,” he said, settling on a channel. He looked over at him and Taekwoon immediately turned away, perhaps a bit too quickly because he ended up facing entirely away from Wonsik. Taekwoon was completely mortified at being caught staring at him, though, so he didn’t move a muscle.

“That was probably the single most adorable thing I think I’ve ever seen.”

“What?” Taekwoon asked, dumbfounded as he slowly turned back around to look at him with wide eyes.

“Oh… did I say that out loud?” He looked embarrassed now too.

Taekwoon nodded, and he scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Sorry, usually I keep those things internalized.”

“You think those things a lot?”

“Yeah… Kinda… You’re an adorable person.”

Taekwoon looked away from him again.

Wow.

He wasn’t ready for these kinds of compliments. He didn’t think he’d ever be ready for Wonsik complimenting him because when Wonsik did it, Taekwoon knew for a fact that Wonsik meant it and wasn’t just saying it just because he was obligated to do so.

“Sorry. I made things weird.”

“No, it’s okay.” And strangely enough, it actually was okay. Being complimented like that made him really… happy. Through all the embarrassment, overwhelmingly he was happy.

~*~

Taekwoon couldn’t sleep.

It was probably around three in the morning and his mind was racing as if it were three in the afternoon. These last few weeks really made him seriously think about everything he thought he knew.

From Wonsik confessing a few weeks ago to Wonsik finding his shyness adorable, it was all really confusing.

Taekwoon found himself incredibly happy whenever Wonsik would show up; even when he showed up unannounced and demanded dinner. He found himself feeling lonely when Wonsik wasn’t around; those were the times when Taekwoon would seek him out. He found himself anticipating when Wonsik would show up at his apartment, his work or just around; it sent his nerves alight and his heart never seemed to quit running away from him.  

So confusing.

But was it really? Did he just not want to admit it?

He had always depended on Wonsik and Wonsik’s always been there for him. The only person who’s stuck with him through all his terrible escapades in dating. The only person who could tell what he was thinking, could read his almost emotionless face, could endure his shyness and find it endearing. It had always been Wonsik.

Oh, God.

He was, wasn’t he?

Bolting upright in bed, Taekwoon grabbed his cell phone and texted Wonsik. He knew it was really early in the morning but this just couldn’t wait. He’d wasted so much time already he didn’t want to waste anymore. He knew Wonsik would come with the right wording.

“Can you come? It’s urgent.”

He tossed the phone across his bed and got up. Throwing on some random articles of clothing, Taekwoon left his apartment and headed to the roof. He knew Wonsik would find him up there. Wonsik always knew what he was thinking. He wondered if this confession would surprise him.

Taekwoon stood on the small ledge, letting the light breeze blow his hair where it wanted. It was quiet. Peaceful. A little cold but he didn’t care. The cold was the least of his worries.  

A few moments later, he heard the door leading back inside fling open. Taekwoon turned around to see a very worried and disheveled Wonsik running over to him. When he got close enough, he flung himself towards him. Wonsik stumbled a bit but otherwise caught him effortlessly.

“Jesus Christ, Taekwoonie, you had me so worried,” he said completely out of breath; it sounded like he might start crying.

“I got your text and came to your apartment, but you weren’t,” his voice broke and Taekwoon grabbed onto him tighter. “You weren’t there, and I thought the worst. Holy shit, don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I won’t,” he whispered. With a sudden burst of confidence, Taekwoon pulled away just long enough to look him in the eye before kissing him. It took Wonsik a moment to realize just what was going on but when he did, he easily returned the kiss.  

When they pulled away, Taekwoon saw that Wonsik was crying but also smiling brightly at him. Wonsik had always been so emotional; a fluffy ball of love when he tried so hard to appear hardcore. But in this moment, it was all pure, unfiltered adoration staring back at him. He leaned his forehead against Taekwoon’s, the happiest smile Taekwoon’s ever seen on his face.

“I think… I think I love you too,” Taekwoon whispered, finally giving Wonsik the response he deserved.  

“You really know how to make things dramatic.”

“Shut up and kiss me again.”

~*~

“Woonie. You’re falling asleep,” Wonsik whispered. Taekwoon nestled further against him in response, his head on Wonsik’s chest as they laid on his- their- couch in _their_ apartment.

“Am not,” Taekwoon whispered back. Wonsik laughed.

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Only because it’s you.”

Wonsik had always been able to read him so well.

“You’re really easy to read, I dunno why so many people complain.”

“Neither do I.” Taekwoon smiled.

Everything Taekwoon had always thought was wrong with himself never bothered Wonsik.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.” Wonsik tried to stand up but Taekwoon latched onto him in a desperate attempt to keep him in place.

“Nooooo…” He whined. He didn’t want to move.

“You’re adorable.” He kissed his forehead and Taekwoon buried his face in Wonsik’s chest out of embarrassment. “But it’d be more comfortable in bed.”

Taekwoon was still such a shy mess around him even after two years of being together. Wonsik never minded. Never complained. In fact, he seemed to enjoy Taekwoon’s embarrassment, calling it adorable every single time.

“Fine,” Taekwoon finally conceded.

Wonsik stood up and carried Taekwoon’s in his arms, laughing at his startled yelp.

“Stop laughing at me,” Taekwoon whined.

“I can’t. I love it when you’re sleepy, it’s cute.”

He kissed his forehead again. Taekwoon covered his face in embarrassment. A golden ring glinted in the dim lighting as he moved, forever a reminder of Wonsik’s love for him. He couldn’t be so lucky, could he? Wonsik’s own matching ring was cold against the skin of his shoulder, though, so maybe he could be.

“Just take me to the bedroom, damn it.”

“Someone’s impatient.”

“I’m tired. There’s a difference.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Taekwoon laughed along with Wonsik as he laid him gently on their bed and then crawled in after. They easily got situated in a similar position as they were on the couch. Taekwoon’s head on Wonsik’s chest and Wonsik’s arms wrapped protectively around Taekwoon.

“I love you,” Wonsik said, kissing the top of his head. Taekwoon nodded his head in a silent return.

Despite all his shortcomings in romance and all his poor qualities, this was the happiest Taekwoon had ever been.

“I love you, too.”

And when he said it, he knew without a doubt that he had never been more certain about something in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter! @AAvery151
> 
> Thanks for reading; all comments appreciated.


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